Letter Says It All

Below is the letter I wrote to Emily's teachers, her principal and guidance counselor. It's a little more personal than I tend to get normally but, I am anxious to hear your opinions and thoughts on it, so I left it all in there!

I wanted to touch base with you regarding my daughter, Emily. Emily continues to have difficulty with organization, and as you are aware, this is affecting her grades in a negative way. You may not be aware, that it is also affecting her self esteem in the same way. I would like to request a meeting to discuss these concerns with you, and perhaps come up with a plan to help Emily achieve all that I know she can.

Emily is currently on a 504 Accommodation Plan, in which her diagnosis of ADHD is clearly defined as a disability. At the time of her plans writing when she began third grade, her academic progress was not being hindered by her disability. Clearly, this is no longer the case.

From all accounts, Emily’s eagerness in the classroom, participation in class, and all around positive attitude, have shown that she has a true desire to learn and achieve. To that end, it is my opinion and hers that she needs more support, on both an emotional and academic level.

After Emily met with Mrs. School Guidance Counselor in the beginning of the year, Mrs. School Guidance Counselor indicated that she had some concerns for Emily, and offered the suggestion that Emily receive counseling services. We have since started Emily’s counseling services with her counselor, of Blah Blah Counseling Services(EDITED FOR PRIVACY). I am requesting that her counselor be allowed to see Emily during school hours.

Due in large part to Emily’s feelings around her lack of organizational skills and the results of that, Emily’s self esteem is suffering greatly. She frequently makes comments like, “Why am I so stupid?”, “Why can’t I be more organized?”, and “I try but I just can’t do it.” While Emily's counselor is working on these and other concerns, our combined schedules make it difficult for Emily to see her more than once every couple of weeks. Emily’s feelings and esteem continue to decline, and this schedule is not adequate enough to really address these issues. Emily’s feelings and esteem relate directly to her organization, an intrinsic part of her life at school, and one of the main reasons both Emily and I feel she is not achieving all she is capable of. While the option to take Emily out of school weekly exists, this would require her to be out of school for two hours, as opposed to the 45 minute session she would miss if these services were taking place at school. Missing two hours of school weekly certainly would not help Emily in her conquest to get organized and achieve a higher level of self esteem.

Emily recently explained the “check mark” program to me. It is my understanding that if a student is missing work, forgetting needed classroom materials, or having behavioral concerns, they receive check marks. If the student receives four checks from one teacher, or ten overall, they are not allowed to participate in the reward at the end of the check mark period. Emily should not participate in the check mark program based on her organizational abilities. Her disorganization is an inherent part of her ADHD, which is defined as a disability. Emily should not be punished for something that is a symptom of her disability. While I certainly believe that there is much room for improvement, and that it is in fact possible that Emily will improve, until she is on a level comparable with her typical peers in regard to organization, participation in this program is not appropriate for Emily.

I would like to request that the following accommodations be added to Emily’s existing 504 Plan:

--Allow for expedient make up of missing homework. If deduction for lateness works, keep doing it. If it does not, recognize the problem as an uncorrectable disability.


--If Emily forgets her homework or any other needed item in her locker, allow her until the end of the day to bring it to you, or if possible get it at the time it is discovered missing.

--Emily should not participate in the “check mark” program based on her organization skills.

I sincerely look forward to meeting with you and discussing this further. I am open to hearing any suggestions and thoughts you may have.

Emily's Report Card

Four B's, one A- and one D+. So all in all, not too shabby. The D+ was in Math, and came as no surprise really.

I had spoken with her teacher a few weeks back and she had indicated that Emily was having trouble multiplying and dividing decimals. She also told me that Emily had done poorly on her last two quizzes, and had missed a few homework assignments. The teacher had been offering Emily all kinds of extra help but Emily was not taking the initiative and taking her up on it.

I asked Emily today why she thought she got a D+ n Math. Her answer was that she was stupid and hated math. I explained to her that she wasn't stupid and told her that everyone had things they were good at and things that they struggled with. I explained to her (which I sort of new I would have to) that her not doing her homework (or doing it and forgetting to turn it in) probably had a direct effect. I also explained that this is the one class, as is indicative on her report card that she needs to be on her game. My thought was that it's not like she is more organized in one area than another, or more disorganized in one area than another. Obviously, with her other classes, she can be a disorganized "mess" and still achieve a higher grade. With math, she has a bit more difficulty, so her organization needs to be right on target in that class. I explained that her grade may have been a C- or a C if she had turned in those assignments.

Grades are annoying and way too much of a focus to begin with, but she showed some concern herself with the D+ so I thought it would help her to point out some of the areas that may have lead to that grade.

Parent-Teacher Conferences:Emily

They went the same as they do every year. Something like this, just for reference:

"Emily is a very bright young lady. She participates well, is eager to learn, is very helpful, asks a lot of questions and is a pleasure to have in class. The only concern I have for her is her lack of organization."

Her World Geography teacher added the following statement (which made me want to...well...hug him, if such a thing were appropriate):

"The only concern I have for Emily is her organization. She'll come to class sometimes and not have what she needs, but, she has a "B" so obviously it can't be affecting her that much."

Finally someone who gets it. Maybe she could e getting an "A" if she were more organized but a "B"? Is not bad. More importantly, if she is content with it than it should matter that she could be doing this or that.

Accommodations

This wasn't the post I had been thinking of writing over the past couple of days, but I guess I have to go with what is current, right?

Emily forgot her math homework in her locker...again. This makes five homework assignments that she has actually done, and somehow misplaced or otherwise didn't turn in, in math alone. I have a whole post on why I think homework should be outlawed, but for now, it is what it is, and she needs to be not only doing it, but turning it in as well.

Here's my issue. I think it absolutely stinks that she did her homework, and because she did something a little absentminded by leaving it in her locker, she is not going to get full credit for it. Apparently, if she turns it in today she will get what she referred to as an "effort grade" but it will not be held in as high esteem as if she had turned it in today.

I am torn about this. Part of me thinks that this might teach her something, and help on the road to better organization, but, the other part of me recognizes that this type of thing is a true disability for her and that she should not be excluded from getting the grade she deserves for doing the work. I am quite sure she could have an accommodation added to her 504 Plan that allowed her to have her homework in by the end of the day and still get full credit. I just don't know, in the long run, if that would be a good thing or not.

Here's the other piece that bothers me. Emily got her first progress report the other day. She has all B's and one C in math. A c? Is not a bad grade. It's average. The point is, and I will be elaborating on this further in a future post, if a C is a grade that not only can she get at her current level of organization/disorganization, but one that she is satisfied with, than that should be all that matters. There seems to be this underlying pressure in the world to do better, be more, get more, and it's wrong. If she's happy with a C, then that should be good enough.

Suffering the Consequences

This growing up thing? It's hard. Hard on the control-freak parent who is trying to let go a little and give her daughter a bit more choice in life, but has a hard time when said daughter makes a choice that in the long run might not be the best one. It's hard on the parent who hates to sit by and watch the child suffer the consequences of a choice they made. It's hard on the parent who has this unexplained urge just to fix everything so that her daughter won't have to suffer at all, even though the parent knows deep down that by fixing everything the child will never learn and from her own mistakes/triumphs in life.

Undoubtedly, it's hard on the child who has to make these choices, be they good or bad, in order to learn from whatever may come as a result of these choices.

Today, I knowingly let Emily suffer whatever consequences may come as a result of her not turning in her reading log. She knew all week that it was supposed to be home, here for us fill out together, and, despite my constant reminders to her to bring it home, she still forgot it. I felt bad about it, so suggested that we do our own reading log, since we knew what the questions on it were, and, even though it would not be on the "official reading log paper", I am sure it will still count. The thing is, while I think it is important that she remember her "stuff," she actually has a problem with this kind of thing, more so than the usual kid. Sometimes, I need to cut her a little slack. Anyway, she refused to make up our own, and said outright, "I'll just get a zero." Me? I let it go at that. The hope is that when she gets a zero, or gets her report card she will see that her grade is a direct reflection of what she does or doesn't do all year,and that if her grade is lower than it may have otherwise been, she will make the connection. If I am being honest though? I don't have high hopes for this happening. Consequences have little effect on Emily, generally speaking any way. While the event is actually occurring (using this example when she gets her report card) she will be upset by it for that moment in time, but it will more than likely do little to deter the forgetting of the reading log in the future.

So, I guess we will just wait and see what happens, and hope for the best.

Organizing Ideas

Acronyms. Emily seems to respond quite well to them and said as much while doing a recent math assignment on order of operations. She said, "PEMDAS...Please excuse my dear Aunt Sally" but really it means, "Parenthesis, Exponents, Multiplication, Division, Addition, Subtraction, just so you know, Mom."

So...I need to think of a good acronym or two for things such as, "Don't forget your homework" and "Remember to bring everything home that you need" and "English class starts at 8:03 not 8:10."

I am being a little silly here, but really? I think this type of thing might work. I bet this is something I could find on line...like an acronym creator or something.

I am having a hard time coming up with other ideas. I already have the typical ones in place...a set time and place for homework, reminders before she leaves to turn her homework in that she has done at home, chatting with her about her day, and being involved with the school (as much as possible in middle school at least). Does anyone else have any thoughts?

Emily's Middle School Experience So Far

Mostly? It's been good. I mean, she seems happy (most of the time at least), likes switching classes and seems to like her teachers. Really the only thing that has been too much for her? The absurd amount of organization that they expect out of an 11 year old, let alone one who has more trouble with this sort of thing than the everyday 11 year old.

For lack of a better way of wording this, I am going to list the "problems" we have had with organizational type things so far this year:

-lost her agenda that she needs everyday.
-missed two math assignments (although they weren't technically missing, she had them in her folder and just forgot to turn them in when the teacher asked).
-forgot a rough draft of a paper she needed in order to write the final draft.
-forgot to bring home a modified study guide her social studies teacher gave her ( but YAY for her social studies teacher actually following her 504 plan)
-has been late to math class once
-is late to homeroom frequently( although in all fairness her bus is one of the last ones to arrive thanks to us living on the other side of town, but I am fairly certain it arrives in plenty of time for her to get to class).
-forgot to write a rough draft of a paper, or even tell me about the final draft being due...found out when I called the homework hot line.

To me? This seems like a lot...considering we are only ending the 2nd full week of school. There are some people who are going to argue that this is just a "kid being a kid." while I agree on some level, the truth is? This is by no means some thing we can let go, nor is it something that I think most kids go through. If that were true, that all kids in her age group were this disorganized, I sincerely doubt the expectations of those in charge would be the same. In other words, if it was the norm for kids her age to forget their things, lose their things and be late to things, it would be unlikely that those in charge would expect that of them, or at least not to the degree that they do. It's not like I am saying that makes it so there is something wrong with Emily...just that she's a little more unique than one might think, and perhaps her way of doing things (or even not doing them) is a little different then what would be considered "average" for her age. The bottom line is, while I don't think it's ok to insist on doing anything to inherently change her, if she is to "survive" in this crazy little world called "middle school"she is going to have to make some changes in the way she does things.

I spoke with her guidance counselor the other day. She in turn met with Emily yesterday. I also know that the guidance counselor has been going to all of the classrooms during SSR time (Silent Sustained Reading) and speaking with all of the 6th grade classes about middle school, organization, "talk aloud strategies" and various other things. Both the guidance counselor and Emily's math teacher who I met briefly at Open House have said Emily has a wonderful attitude, is willing to accept help, and that she is a "good kid." So that will certainly help her in the long run.

Next Up: Organizing ideas...both mental and physical that may help.

Middle School:Expectations

This will be the first in a short series of posts. If I were to include all my thoughts on this subject in one entry, you could potentially be reading for days!

I thought I would start by listing quite literally what was expected of Emily as far as what she needs for each class, and what she is expected to remember to bring with her to each class.

Chorus (yes she actually needs stuff to go sing): black 3 ring binder, 2 pencils, composition notebook, agenda. Students will write journal entries in the comp book at the end of every chorus class. Concerts are mandatory. There are two each year.

World Geography: 2 inch 3 ring binder, notebook dividers, colored pencils, textbook,agenda.

Math: 2 inch 3 ring binder, notebook paper, pen, pencil, textbook, agenda. 3-4 nights homework will be given. Late homework=no credit.

ELA (you ready for this?) agenda, homework folder, SSR book, pencil, reading notebook, writing journal, reading log, 2 textbooks.

Science: white notebook, text book, agenda, pencil.

The school uses the "rotation" scheduling approach, so they have classes on an A B C schedule. They also have specified locker breaks, in which they are allowed to go back to their lockers to trade books etc. for the next class.

Let's use an "A" day as an example. On an "A" day she needs to have the following with her in the morning before her next locker break: 2 inch 3 ring binder, notebook dividers, homework folder, colored pencils, textbook,agenda,white notebook, text book.

At her next locker break she needs to have/remember all of this: 2 inch 3 ring binder, notebook, pen, pencil, textbook, agenda, homework folder, SSR book, reading notebook, writing journal, reading log, 2 textbooks.

At her final break of the day she needs to remember to bring home her agenda, homework folder, and any textbooks or binders/notebooks she may need to complete her homework.

Oh, and did I mention that they are not allowed to carry their backpacks around the building? Taken directly from the handbook: In order to avoid congestion in the corridors, and to assist students in the organization and care of books and materials, backpacks and book bags may not be carried during the school day. Upon entering the building, backpacks, book bags, and gym bags will be placed in the student lockers.Locker breaks will be held periodically throughout the day. I have yet to be in there when the hallway was bustling with kids going to a fro, but let me tell you, on the few occasions in which I have been there (including tonight for Open House) the hallways seem plenty wide, as do the cluster areas where the lockers are located. This seems like a silly rule to me, and if I were in charge,I would be more concerned with books being dropped, or pencils being slipped on, or any other number of things that could occur when kids are carrying armloads of books around.

Anyway, is it me, or does this seem like a lot for even a "regular" kid who doesn't have issues with organization or attention, above and beyond what would be considered normal for the age?

Elementary school, for all it did do, certainly did not do an adequate job preparing Emily for the "big leagues", at least on an organizational level. I am appalled by most of what is expected of her.

I don't think...

...I have ever had a bad thing to say about the Middleboro Public School System but, I am appalled that I have not yet been officially informed that Emily has a long term (more than likely until the end of the year) sub in her classroom right now. Emily has informed me of this verbally but I think that it is crazy to expect a 10 year old to tell this to her parents and leave it at that. It is the school's job to inform parents for a major change in the classroom. I realize that there is only a month and a half of school left but it still seems like something I should be getting official word on.

Am I wrong here? I mean, maybe I am over reacting?

*UPDATE* Emily came home with a letter today! YAY! I knew the higher ups wouldn't disappoint!

Emily's 504 Plan: The Details

Emily is currently on a 504 Accommodation Plan based on her diagnosis of ADHD. Her plan is reviewed every March, and added to or changed if needed. Her current accommodations are as follows:

-Preferential seating
-Parent/teacher communication as needed
-Reminders to bring home important papers at the end of the day
-Frequent verbal cues prior to giving directions and transitioning
-Rules and expectations should be clear, explicit, and consistently reviewed for understanding
-Small group and alternate site for testing
-Checklists and graphic organizers
-Time lines for longer assignments
-Check agenda and material daily
-Study guides and outlines as needed

I can tell you right now, only some of these are being adhered to. I really don't see it as much of a concern now (although I often wonder how much better she would be doing if she was more organized and together, which would be helped by following the above accommodations) but I am so concerned about next year (middle school) that I am practically having anxiety attacks about it. As it stands right now academically, she is doing well enough to succeed (mostly 3's which is Middleboro means at grade level standard). Could she be doing even better if she was more organized both mentally and physically? I think so. I haven't really worried to much about it because at grade level standard? That's not something to be concerned about really, is it? Unless of course (which my counselor pointed out and I have often thought), she is gifted. Then, at grade level standard might be a concern. What really worries me about next year though, is how much more organized she will need to be (compared to elementary school) just to get by, let alone get to grade level standards or beyond. While I hope some of the needed organization skills will come with maturity, I also know that some of this? It's just the "way she is." Did I mention she has a known abnormality (diagnosed via MRI during the whole Epilepsy diagnosis saga) in the frontal lobe of her brain (the very area which "controls" the so called executive functions of the brain, as well as planning and memory)? So yes, maturity may help, but I question how much it will help.

I feel like I have failed her in a way, not really taking the necessary steps to make sure her 504 plan accommodations are being met. I don't want to be known as "one of those parents" who constantly calls the school, demands services for their child, and in general is just a pain in the ass. Because really? I'm not. Also, authority figures that by the very nature of their job title and/or degree are supposed to know about these things and have a tendency to make you feel inferior, they scare me. Scare the hell out of me if I am being honest. For some reason I live in this world which I think , "If there's a plan in place, they must be following it because well, they're supposed to." After I bang my head on the desk though and come back to reality, I know that while the plan is there, it may not be being enforced and the only way it will be is if I make sure that it is. To that end, not only am I going to take some initiative and meet with the necessary people prior to next year even starting, I am going to request that the following accommodations be added to her existing plan:

-tap on desk or use some other code to bring child back in to focus.
-notify family immediately of any missing or late assignments by phone or email.
-provide Emily with a simple outline and/or notes for lectures.
-allow for expedient make up of late or incorrectly done homework. If deduction for lateness works to the curb problem, keep doing it. If not, recognize the problem as an uncorrectable disability.
-provide an extra set of books for home.

I think the addition of these accommodations, combined with maturity and medication, will really get Emily off on the right foot for the beginning of next year.

Thoughts On MCAS

I have made it well known I believe, here and elsewhere that I oppose MCAS as the single determining factor of a child's graduation from high school. I thought now would be a good time to elaborate further, as I was reminded by Emily that MCAS starts this week.

Decisions about student promotion or graduation should always be based on more information than can be gathered by a single test. Many students will be seriously harmed by this slim definition of what it means to succeed. A few examples:

-students who don't test well but in another setting know how to and can do successfully the material being covered on the test.

-special needs students who can not reach the standards required of other students and are labeled as "failing" despite hard worked for progress they may be making in general.

-transfer students who will not be taught the MA curriculum but will be expected to pass the MCAS to get a diploma.

-students in under-resourced schools who will be punished for something that is not in their control-their larger class sizes and overall lower level of resources available to them.


It seems to me that we are spending millions of dollars on a test that tells us what we already know: schools in our communities are under-resourced and need our help. Our resources should be spent directly on improving schools and classrooms, providing professional development for teachers, and on developing better ways to measure what students are learning. This can not be determined by a standardized, "across the board" test. To assume that it can, is not doing what we as parents and educators should be setting out to do in the first place: providing a well-rounded, multi-faceted program of education which spends more time on the individual student than the student body as a whole.

MCAS Weirdness

In 3rd grade, Emily took the MCAS in the classroom, with the distraction of other students and whatever classroom distractions there may have been. She scored Proficient in both English and Math.

This past school year (4th grade), she took the test in a small conference room, with 3-5 other students. This was an accommodation added to her existing 504 plan, per her teacher's request. We just got the 4th grade results and she got "Needs Improvement" in both areas.

So with the Math, I can totally see this being a "true to life" result. I know it's more of a struggle for her (mainly due to the logical, organized way in which Math must be done). With the English though? The girl has an 8th grade spelling level and and a 10th grade reading level (this according to her neuro-psych eval done in January of this year). That aside, my own observations of her skill in this year, combined with her self expressed enjoyment of it, leads me to assume that something was just off on that day. It also makes me wonder if, despite the distractions of a classroom setting, she might do better in that situation.

This also proves, at least to me that passing the MCAS should not be the sole indicator of whether or not a child graduates high school, as Emily seems to indicate that sometimes, you can just have an "off day."