Parent-Teacher Conferences:Emily

They went the same as they do every year. Something like this, just for reference:

"Emily is a very bright young lady. She participates well, is eager to learn, is very helpful, asks a lot of questions and is a pleasure to have in class. The only concern I have for her is her lack of organization."

Her World Geography teacher added the following statement (which made me want to...well...hug him, if such a thing were appropriate):

"The only concern I have for Emily is her organization. She'll come to class sometimes and not have what she needs, but, she has a "B" so obviously it can't be affecting her that much."

Finally someone who gets it. Maybe she could e getting an "A" if she were more organized but a "B"? Is not bad. More importantly, if she is content with it than it should matter that she could be doing this or that.

Accommodations

This wasn't the post I had been thinking of writing over the past couple of days, but I guess I have to go with what is current, right?

Emily forgot her math homework in her locker...again. This makes five homework assignments that she has actually done, and somehow misplaced or otherwise didn't turn in, in math alone. I have a whole post on why I think homework should be outlawed, but for now, it is what it is, and she needs to be not only doing it, but turning it in as well.

Here's my issue. I think it absolutely stinks that she did her homework, and because she did something a little absentminded by leaving it in her locker, she is not going to get full credit for it. Apparently, if she turns it in today she will get what she referred to as an "effort grade" but it will not be held in as high esteem as if she had turned it in today.

I am torn about this. Part of me thinks that this might teach her something, and help on the road to better organization, but, the other part of me recognizes that this type of thing is a true disability for her and that she should not be excluded from getting the grade she deserves for doing the work. I am quite sure she could have an accommodation added to her 504 Plan that allowed her to have her homework in by the end of the day and still get full credit. I just don't know, in the long run, if that would be a good thing or not.

Here's the other piece that bothers me. Emily got her first progress report the other day. She has all B's and one C in math. A c? Is not a bad grade. It's average. The point is, and I will be elaborating on this further in a future post, if a C is a grade that not only can she get at her current level of organization/disorganization, but one that she is satisfied with, than that should be all that matters. There seems to be this underlying pressure in the world to do better, be more, get more, and it's wrong. If she's happy with a C, then that should be good enough.

Suffering the Consequences

This growing up thing? It's hard. Hard on the control-freak parent who is trying to let go a little and give her daughter a bit more choice in life, but has a hard time when said daughter makes a choice that in the long run might not be the best one. It's hard on the parent who hates to sit by and watch the child suffer the consequences of a choice they made. It's hard on the parent who has this unexplained urge just to fix everything so that her daughter won't have to suffer at all, even though the parent knows deep down that by fixing everything the child will never learn and from her own mistakes/triumphs in life.

Undoubtedly, it's hard on the child who has to make these choices, be they good or bad, in order to learn from whatever may come as a result of these choices.

Today, I knowingly let Emily suffer whatever consequences may come as a result of her not turning in her reading log. She knew all week that it was supposed to be home, here for us fill out together, and, despite my constant reminders to her to bring it home, she still forgot it. I felt bad about it, so suggested that we do our own reading log, since we knew what the questions on it were, and, even though it would not be on the "official reading log paper", I am sure it will still count. The thing is, while I think it is important that she remember her "stuff," she actually has a problem with this kind of thing, more so than the usual kid. Sometimes, I need to cut her a little slack. Anyway, she refused to make up our own, and said outright, "I'll just get a zero." Me? I let it go at that. The hope is that when she gets a zero, or gets her report card she will see that her grade is a direct reflection of what she does or doesn't do all year,and that if her grade is lower than it may have otherwise been, she will make the connection. If I am being honest though? I don't have high hopes for this happening. Consequences have little effect on Emily, generally speaking any way. While the event is actually occurring (using this example when she gets her report card) she will be upset by it for that moment in time, but it will more than likely do little to deter the forgetting of the reading log in the future.

So, I guess we will just wait and see what happens, and hope for the best.

Organizing Ideas

Acronyms. Emily seems to respond quite well to them and said as much while doing a recent math assignment on order of operations. She said, "PEMDAS...Please excuse my dear Aunt Sally" but really it means, "Parenthesis, Exponents, Multiplication, Division, Addition, Subtraction, just so you know, Mom."

So...I need to think of a good acronym or two for things such as, "Don't forget your homework" and "Remember to bring everything home that you need" and "English class starts at 8:03 not 8:10."

I am being a little silly here, but really? I think this type of thing might work. I bet this is something I could find on line...like an acronym creator or something.

I am having a hard time coming up with other ideas. I already have the typical ones in place...a set time and place for homework, reminders before she leaves to turn her homework in that she has done at home, chatting with her about her day, and being involved with the school (as much as possible in middle school at least). Does anyone else have any thoughts?